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Whenever I am faced with this expression from a student, I get into a state of confusion myself as to which way I should help him out...
(a). The psychological help: The thing that separates the two 'helps' is that this one has at least some acceptance. Almost no one likes to hear 'spiritual lectures'.
You have to know the following sequence -
Thoughts -> Words -> Actions -> Behavior -> Habit -> Personality -> 'Who you are'
So in a way, we are saying that what you have thought of, will eventually become 'who you are'. There are just some steps involved in the process that I have written down above. Hence, when you say 'I do not feel like doing something', then you are already in stage 2 of the process of becoming 'who I really am'. Which means you have already thought that 'I do not feel like it'. Meaning that 'I have actually made up my mind. And you just listen to what I have committed to myself in my mind, which is, that I do not feel like it'. Well, in this case I really cant do much to help you, can I. Nor can you yourself do anything about it. I hope you got what I am trying to say here.
I am not trying to play with words here. Just trying to help you out a little, to make you realize that your just saying something starts to put shape to what you want to become. The moment you say 'I feel tired', you begin to become tired (I mean how can you become tired when you have not moved too much of your body the whole day, and have just been thinking and solving problems). I know so many students who say they get tired by studying. How can you?? How can your muscles get tired or be out of oxygen, when all you were using was your brain?? So in reality, when you said 'I feel tired', you wanted to quit doing whatever you were doing, because now you have got 'bored' of doing that thing.
But not that you have said that 'I feel tired', you will begin to get yawns, your muscles will begin to ache a little and you might want to lie down, or even sleep. "Your body will do what you want it to do".
Has your brain or your body ever "disobeyed" you?? They just cannot. They are not programmed that way. Then how are they? Well, they will always help you and follow your instructions. ALWAYS. So you will ask, 'But even when there is exam tomorrow, I feel sleepy, so my brain is not helping me!!'. I will then tell you that you yourself have told your brain to feel sleepy. It is you who thinks!! Its not your brain that thinks. Your brain is what you use to think. Let me explain... does your hand move on its own? Or do you make it move? In the same, how can your brain do anything on its own. It looks like its functioning on its own, but in reality it is you who is asking it to do this, or that.
'So what do we do if we cannot really control our brain like we can control our hands and legs? What if we just keep thinking compulsively. Thoughts just come in and we do not have a way to close the door?' ... Try N.L.P. (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). Read about it in the book 'Unlimited Power' by Anthony Robbins.
This is one of the things that I do... I visualize situations in my head. Suppose that I have a big headache. I will create an image in my head of all the bad, red, hot, angry, negative things in my head and collect them all in a box. I then start shrinking the box in size, and imagine complete peace and blackness outside the box as it shrinks. The peace increases in size and the box reduces in size progressively, till it disappears. I keep doing this again and again for 5 minutes. And the headache goes away. This simple technique actually works every time in all situations. So you could be in a situation where you are feeling lazy, and all you have to do is close your eyes and imagine a situation in which you have been selected in IIT. You have secured a rank of 340 and have just gone for counseling in IIT-Delhi. And you have been awarded the stream of your choice, 'Computer Engineering'. And you are so happy and enthusiastic with joy that you have never been in life... Just imagining this situation will at least get you up from your bed and running for a while. The next time you feel lazy, imagine a similar situation, but cook up a different future story, otherwise you will start feeling bored of the same old story.
(b). The spiritual help: This is the mother of all solutions to problems in life. Here I just tell students to 'Stop thinking' altogether. The very fact that the mind is the one which gives pain in your life, that makes you restless, gives anxiety in your life, makes you very happy at one time and extremely sad at some other time.
We are taught a lot of things in our school, college, work place and home. But we have never been told about the mind. What it is and how we can use it to our advantage, and when it becomes a evil. I will try to explain as clearly as I can. (Many have tried to explain this same thing and died painful deaths trying to help compulsive thinkers)
The brain has connections to the rest of the body through the spinal chord. Every part of your body is connected to your brain. So you cannot afford to mess around with your brain, can you?? If the wrong signals are sent, you do not know where those signals will eventually land up, and what they might convey to that part of your body. But what does the brain produce?? Nothing but 'Thoughts'. Just like the bone marrows produces Red Blood Cells. Its just keeps producing thoughts. Thats its job. But now just wait a moment and analyze the difference between the bone marrow and your brain. Both were given to you as part of a self-driven programmed mechanism called 'save this guy... help him live'. The machinery of both was programmed in the DNA of every cell in your body. So thats what they keep doing.
But haven't you ever noticed that you definitely have some 'CONTROL' over your thoughts. But you do not seem to have any control whatsoever on your bone marrow. That control is the 'YOU'. You are not your hands, legs, brain, body. The 'YOU' is that control 'sometimes' exercised. This control sometimes even appears in the form of 'ATTENTION' while reading a book, watching television, listening to someone speak. It can even be the 'CONCENTRATION' thats needed often while studying. You are simply this attention, this control, this knowing, this observer. Once you have got this, then only you will understand the next para.
Now that you have got your 'ATTENTION', whenever you have a thought like 'I do not feel like', or "I feel sleepy', or 'I am a loser', or 'I cannot...', then just start to observe your thoughts. Simply observe without any prejudice or judgment. JUST WATCH your thoughts... if you do this the right way, your thoughts will not survive your attention. They will die/vanish.
This advice has been given by Mr. Pravin Tyagi. He graduated from IIT Delhi and currently runs IITians PACE, a premier institute for IIT-JEE preparation.
(a). The psychological help: The thing that separates the two 'helps' is that this one has at least some acceptance. Almost no one likes to hear 'spiritual lectures'.
You have to know the following sequence -
Thoughts -> Words -> Actions -> Behavior -> Habit -> Personality -> 'Who you are'
So in a way, we are saying that what you have thought of, will eventually become 'who you are'. There are just some steps involved in the process that I have written down above. Hence, when you say 'I do not feel like doing something', then you are already in stage 2 of the process of becoming 'who I really am'. Which means you have already thought that 'I do not feel like it'. Meaning that 'I have actually made up my mind. And you just listen to what I have committed to myself in my mind, which is, that I do not feel like it'. Well, in this case I really cant do much to help you, can I. Nor can you yourself do anything about it. I hope you got what I am trying to say here.
I am not trying to play with words here. Just trying to help you out a little, to make you realize that your just saying something starts to put shape to what you want to become. The moment you say 'I feel tired', you begin to become tired (I mean how can you become tired when you have not moved too much of your body the whole day, and have just been thinking and solving problems). I know so many students who say they get tired by studying. How can you?? How can your muscles get tired or be out of oxygen, when all you were using was your brain?? So in reality, when you said 'I feel tired', you wanted to quit doing whatever you were doing, because now you have got 'bored' of doing that thing.
But not that you have said that 'I feel tired', you will begin to get yawns, your muscles will begin to ache a little and you might want to lie down, or even sleep. "Your body will do what you want it to do".
Has your brain or your body ever "disobeyed" you?? They just cannot. They are not programmed that way. Then how are they? Well, they will always help you and follow your instructions. ALWAYS. So you will ask, 'But even when there is exam tomorrow, I feel sleepy, so my brain is not helping me!!'. I will then tell you that you yourself have told your brain to feel sleepy. It is you who thinks!! Its not your brain that thinks. Your brain is what you use to think. Let me explain... does your hand move on its own? Or do you make it move? In the same, how can your brain do anything on its own. It looks like its functioning on its own, but in reality it is you who is asking it to do this, or that.
'So what do we do if we cannot really control our brain like we can control our hands and legs? What if we just keep thinking compulsively. Thoughts just come in and we do not have a way to close the door?' ... Try N.L.P. (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). Read about it in the book 'Unlimited Power' by Anthony Robbins.
This is one of the things that I do... I visualize situations in my head. Suppose that I have a big headache. I will create an image in my head of all the bad, red, hot, angry, negative things in my head and collect them all in a box. I then start shrinking the box in size, and imagine complete peace and blackness outside the box as it shrinks. The peace increases in size and the box reduces in size progressively, till it disappears. I keep doing this again and again for 5 minutes. And the headache goes away. This simple technique actually works every time in all situations. So you could be in a situation where you are feeling lazy, and all you have to do is close your eyes and imagine a situation in which you have been selected in IIT. You have secured a rank of 340 and have just gone for counseling in IIT-Delhi. And you have been awarded the stream of your choice, 'Computer Engineering'. And you are so happy and enthusiastic with joy that you have never been in life... Just imagining this situation will at least get you up from your bed and running for a while. The next time you feel lazy, imagine a similar situation, but cook up a different future story, otherwise you will start feeling bored of the same old story.
(b). The spiritual help: This is the mother of all solutions to problems in life. Here I just tell students to 'Stop thinking' altogether. The very fact that the mind is the one which gives pain in your life, that makes you restless, gives anxiety in your life, makes you very happy at one time and extremely sad at some other time.
We are taught a lot of things in our school, college, work place and home. But we have never been told about the mind. What it is and how we can use it to our advantage, and when it becomes a evil. I will try to explain as clearly as I can. (Many have tried to explain this same thing and died painful deaths trying to help compulsive thinkers)
The brain has connections to the rest of the body through the spinal chord. Every part of your body is connected to your brain. So you cannot afford to mess around with your brain, can you?? If the wrong signals are sent, you do not know where those signals will eventually land up, and what they might convey to that part of your body. But what does the brain produce?? Nothing but 'Thoughts'. Just like the bone marrows produces Red Blood Cells. Its just keeps producing thoughts. Thats its job. But now just wait a moment and analyze the difference between the bone marrow and your brain. Both were given to you as part of a self-driven programmed mechanism called 'save this guy... help him live'. The machinery of both was programmed in the DNA of every cell in your body. So thats what they keep doing.
But haven't you ever noticed that you definitely have some 'CONTROL' over your thoughts. But you do not seem to have any control whatsoever on your bone marrow. That control is the 'YOU'. You are not your hands, legs, brain, body. The 'YOU' is that control 'sometimes' exercised. This control sometimes even appears in the form of 'ATTENTION' while reading a book, watching television, listening to someone speak. It can even be the 'CONCENTRATION' thats needed often while studying. You are simply this attention, this control, this knowing, this observer. Once you have got this, then only you will understand the next para.
Now that you have got your 'ATTENTION', whenever you have a thought like 'I do not feel like', or "I feel sleepy', or 'I am a loser', or 'I cannot...', then just start to observe your thoughts. Simply observe without any prejudice or judgment. JUST WATCH your thoughts... if you do this the right way, your thoughts will not survive your attention. They will die/vanish.
This advice has been given by Mr. Pravin Tyagi. He graduated from IIT Delhi and currently runs IITians PACE, a premier institute for IIT-JEE preparation.
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